3 SECRETS TO RAISING A HAPPY, CONFIDENT DAUGHTER

IT’S BEEN WAY TOO LONG!! I’m glad to be back on here sharing life with y’all. Hope that y’all are all doing well. Well, we are still adjusting to school life and with having a high schooler too. She had a late morning check-in to school so we were able to document a little one on one time together. And, hello, we had to be twins with our denim and sneakers. We are both so stoked to have found affordable, petite jeans!! We are both on the shorter side so buying jeans is difficult. The Rockstar jeans are the best. I like mid-rise, and Bello Boo goes with the high-rise. I linked our jeans other items below. Our tops and jackets are also a favorite from Old Navy. All of their fall fashion items are budget friendly!!

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shop the post

Henley ribbed top – Old Navy || Mid-Rise Built-In Sculpt Rockstar Ankle Jeans – Old Navy ||

Distressed Denim Jacket – Old Navy || Striped Slub-Knit Boyfriend Tee – Old Navy || High-Rise Secret-Slim Pockets Raw-Edge Rockstar Ankle Jeans – Old Navy || Distressed Boyfriend Denim Jacket – Old Navy || Asher Checkered Slip-On Sneaker – Vans

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So, back to high school chat. Hearing her stories each day brings me back to my school days. Gosh, I loved it!! It wasn’t always easy emotionally, but I had a wonderful experience filled with lifelong friendships and lots of funny stories. Some stories I would like to forget too!! Wouldn’t you??!

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As parents, Mike and I’s greatest desire is to raise confident yet humble leaders. We want our kids to set the standard and to set the atmosphere. But, with all of the peer pressure and desires to be accepted, I get it. It’s hard. People pleasing is usually what most teenagers succumb to. Hello, I will be the first to admit that I fell trap to it at an early age. I think that is why I am so adamant about learning to see the signs of timidity and addressing it. So, this brings me to sharing with you a few things that has helped us raise a happy, confident daughter!!!

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“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first!!”

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So, we are still learning more secrets in this parenting world, but thus far, we feel good about the small decisions, adjustments, and standards that we have set into place.

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first secret:

Your daughter needs and wants a role model!!

63 percent of girls who report that they have a role model say it’s their mom.

Studies show that the way a mother acts in front of her daughter influences her behavior. So, how we view or model our self-image impacts our daughter.

If we battle with poor self-image or anxiety, it is likely that our daughter will model that same behavior. It’s a ripple effect. This is what made me deal head on with all of my demons!! No joke. I didn’t want my daughter battling like I did. When I see insecurity or comparison arise, I address it, and we talk it out!!!

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second secret:

Your daughter needs and wants to be noticed!!

Between elementary and high school, a girl’s self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than a boy’s does. Girls are searching for their identity. They need to know that their identity shouldn’t be based on popularity, talent or ability. They need the affirming words of their role models. 

Your presence in your daughter’s life affects her confidence.

As a young girl, I needed the support, belief and attention from my parents. They were a safe place. They were a comfort to me and always cheering me on. They noticed me and never dismissed my wild feelings. I’m thankful.

Our daughter need us to listen with empathy and validate their feelings.

This is what every young girl needs. To be heard and to be noticed, and it will set the tone.

Answer these three questions for her OFTEN: What do you think about me? Do you understand me? What are your hopes for me?

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third secret:

Your daughter needs and wants honesty and vulnerability!!

They need the truth and nothing but the truth. No subject is off limits in our relationship. I don’t want her friends to play the bigger role in her life.

If she needs to be told that I’m sorry that guy isn’t really into you, I tell her, and I don’t sugarcoat it. I just share a story about my heart getting a little crushed and how I overcame it. If she has a grudge against a girl at school, I call her out on it, and I expose the root of her issue is really herself.  If she has a sex question, I’m ready to answer!! If she failed at something, I want to walk her through it hand in hand letting her know that this will make her stronger. Being honest and vulnerable is why Bella will tell me or ask me anything. It may take her a few days, but she knows that I accept all of her.

I was once her age and honesty is what I needed.

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“I want my girl to overcome challenges. I want her to embrace her beauty, her imperfections, and her intelligence. Most importantly, I want her to be confident in who God called her to be.”

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shop the post

Henley ribbed top – Old Navy || Mid-Rise Built-In Sculpt Rockstar Ankle Jeans – Old Navy ||

Distressed Denim Jacket – Old Navy || Striped Slub-Knit Boyfriend Tee – Old Navy || High-Rise Secret-Slim Pockets Raw-Edge Rockstar Ankle Jeans – Old Navy || Distressed Boyfriend Denim Jacket – Old Navy || Asher Checkered Slip-On Sneaker – Vans

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Thanks to Old Navy for sponsoring this post. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.